As much as I am so excited for college and the things waiting for me around the corner, they terrify me. I'm not as ready for it as I thought I was. It's funny how we think we're so grown up until the moment to stand alone arrives. Then we're like a deer in the headlights, frozen and scared as something comes hurtling closer at unnatural speeds. I still want to have a little time to be young and hopelessly stupid. I feel like I haven't been able to be a kid as much as I would have liked to lately.
I still want to be. I want to be able to do young, insane, dumb things like staying out later than I should or having a crush on someone I shouldn't. I just feel that maybe that would be like jumping through a door that's already nearly shut. Maybe I'll make it, or maybe I'll just end up getting hurt. Maybe I'll make it and find that whatever is inside isn't really worth it.
Well, it's not closed yet, I've still got a couple of months to deliberate, so we'll see what happens. No time like the present, right?
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